I'm Exhausted by the Modern Web

The vibes are not it

For the last few years there’s been a decrease in, dare I say, the vibes on the web. I didn’t even realize it was happening at first but every time I’d check my social media there’d be a certain level of frustration I couldn’t shake. Identifying the frustration is one thing but trying to capture the underlying causes was more difficult. I think where we’re at with our web interactions isn’t too different from previous years, at a surface level least. However if you pause to think about the subtle behavioral shifts you as a user have done in that time span, you’ll arrive at the same conclusion I have.

This shit is creepy.

Have you ever…

Been shopping for a household item? Or needed clothes? Or googled literally anything? The worst part isn’t waiting for slow page refreshes on most e-commerce sites. It’s the part when you’re done shopping for it but have to suffer through an instagram ad for the thing you’ve already bought once every two stories.

In fact I feel like there isn’t a corner of the internet I can visit anymore without having it thrust back in my face on Twitter or Insta. Even if I’ve had my fill of the item or subject, it’ll just follow me around like a seagull you fed once at the beach that thinks you have infinite fries.

I’m afraid to look

To me, one of the most awful inventions in social media is the concept of a “For You Page”, or FYP. Its a hyper aggressive attention seeking portal leading to a blender for your brain. Its supposed to be a page presenting content that should be relevant to your interests. Topics like coffee and clothes, food and Friends clips ¹. If that were all it did honestly I don’t think I’d have a problem with it.

Whether people have recognized it or not, they interact with media based websites as if they’re an organic being capable of higher thought. I find myself constantly worrying that liking some picture of a cool outfit is going to result in my page flooded with influencers trying to pawn off Ali Express drop shipped trousers. Or that my search for a restaurant will commence a hostile takeover and give nothing but different reels for “top 10 restaurants in <city name here>.”

Of course I’m not alone in this sense of displeasure, nor am I going to waste your time by expounding on the psychology of this. There’s more accredited individuals who’ve covered this at length with sources and… science-y stuff. Its just that as a by-product of my profession I spend too much time thinking about software interactions.

I didn’t mean to

The biggest flaw I’ve observed in these algorithms is that they incorrectly capture the user’s intent. Whether it’s an accident or intentional I cannot say as I’m not in the meetings where they make these decisions. What I can say is that their misuse of data regarding user attention and focus leads to this mental pressure on the user end.

I shouldn’t look at this video too long or they think I’ll want to see more of it.

I just wanted some quick outfit inspirations but I don’t want my page flooded with it

Previously, the subscription model allowed the user to explicitly opt-in to content by subscribing to a channel or another user. They could like and dislike things to inform the platform of their desires to see more or less of it. Compare that to present where the user has lost direct control over what they see and in how much quantity.

If you look at Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram now there is no real correlation between liking content and seeing it on your feed. Inspecting a post, looking at it too long, or just leaving it open all implicitly inform the application of your supposed interest. It’s also accelerating dangerously further in this direction, with YouTube having removed the concept of “dislikes” from their front end entirely.

Yes there are ways to tell the platform you don’t want to see something, but I’m not convinced the provided feedback to hide content is as strong as the many forces trying to put them on your screen. By design there is no way for you to explicitly block topics or content including certain people. You can’t possibly block all the permutations of a hashtag to never see someone again.

In my example I don’t want to see podcasts by hosted by certain dudes. I sit there with hands at the ready to try to prove to the all-knowing algorithm that I really don’t like this person, in case my next scroll downwards shows me some hustle bro finance guy.

You build up these small behaviors to avoid the almost-sentient-algorithm, waiting to drown you in absolute garbage. It results in friends texting each other screenshots with “ayo which one of you was looking at this?” Opening incognito tabs to avoid getting sofa ads for the next two weeks. Praying that leaving your screen on while a video played doesn’t count as you being hyper-engaged. Maybe if I scroll fast enough or hit “Not interested” it’ll understand.

Its not that deep bro

Maybe, but you’d have to convince me of any iota of good that comes from this version of the web and social media. I’m not immune to the “doom-scroll”, nor would I think myself above anyone else if I was. I raise these points not to put down anyone who likes these things, but to vent my own frustrations that I can’t opt-out of this “feature” on the platform.

I like using social media. I like seeing my friends be happy in their lives or seeing the occasional update from the “ooo shit I forgot about that guy” we all have in our life. There is a joy in being connected through the thread of a digital presence. The issue is that some unknown heuristic you can’t control determines the rest of your experience. My naïve curiosity about a person or a product is punished by a flood of semi-related information that I didn’t ask for.

What do we do

The real tragedy of this is that everyone just takes it for granted. The alternative is believing we can do anything however it is hard to have this mentality when I have yet to see any company let the health of its userbase interfere with profitability. Has there ever been a platform that handicapped its own engagement by implementing UI patterns that don’t prey on human behavior?

We probably all know a “yeah man I totally just deleted all my social media apps and have achieved enlightenment” person. You can identify them by the fact that they tell you this at the first mention of social media even though you really didn’t ask. I do give them props because at least they’re not ducking posts on their timeline like a virtual barrage is raining on their internet home.

Let me not be a hater for a sec

I get that this isn’t a bug for some, its the main feature they log in to use. I also don’t dare to be pretentious enough to tell people how to live their life. You might prefer the lack of tailoring required to watch stuff you might like. Or maybe you enjoy the “head empty, no thoughts” experience of scrolling in aeternum. Both are entirely valid. But don’t you wish you had more control?

I started by asking myself why I even bother with certain apps when I’m clearly not having a good experience. Sparing you the full introspection process, it boiled down to FOMO and wanting to stay in the loop. That’s enough social pressure to keep me involved.

Bro just turn the screen off lol

I tried an experiment in which limited my time on social media using iOS App Limits. I didn’t even realize the deranged muscle memory I’d built up until I opened my phone to see Apple telling me I should probably go touch grass. Hitting the “Ignore Limit” button was interpreted passive-aggressively enough for me to feel ashamed of pressing it.

It works well enough believe it or not. I’ve found I use the apps more qualitatively. I spend more time focused on getting what I want out of an app due to my time being limited. I can use it primarily to keep up with the people I want and ignore parts like the FYP. For someone reading this, it might be the opposite.

I was happier overall. Once I spent a few days being out of the loop, I realized I never needed to be in it anyway. This approach worked for me, sadly at the expense of seeing someone I don’t really talk to post an iced coffee they just bought. At least I didn’t like it by accident and see a hundred Starbucks adds on every site I visit.